March 26, 2023

“You can be happy with cancer. I’m gone. Died grateful,” says the mother who battled the disease in a farewell letter | Health and wellness

What would you do if you discovered a ferocious cancer and knew your time here on this plan could be numbered? The businesswoman from Londrina (PR), Juliana Carvalho Lopez, 45, married to Marcio Antunes, 45, mother of Enzo, 19, and Gabriela, 21, has decided to live life with those cliches that can even leave our mouths so many times, But we don’t always apply it: “Live for today.”

Juliana said she was living proof that it is possible to live happily with cancer – Photo: Personal Archives

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with CRESCER, her sister, Mariana Carvalho López-Lucic, said that since she was diagnosed with bowel cancer, in August 2019, Giuliana has put up a tough battle against the disease, but always made sure to be happy, even on more difficult days as chemotherapy symptoms brought her down. .

On social media, Julianna kept a diary of her days. In one of the posts, she said, “It all boils down to a very simple choice: take care of dying or take care of living.” This phrase is said by Tim Robbins’ character in the movie. Dream of freedomOne of my best times. I always choose the second option. He said.

Jo, as she was affectionately called by family and friends, was very aware of her health problem and her great struggle was demystifying cancer and death. “This disease, sometimes (a little), causes me deep pain in my heart, but it quickly passes. Because I have success in boasting: I am alive. The main thing is that I feel alive and happy. We will always have the past. We will have a future that no one knows. Neither do I. And we have the present, that is possible, that we choose to live, each day, one by one“, He said.

Marianna with her sister Juliana, who was already in palliative care – photo: personal archive

That way, she lives one day at a time, works, organizes parties for her little friends or many friends, spreads love and celebrates the little things in life, and has faced nearly four years of Cancer living with intense, (trust me!) happiness. . Three days before his death, Joe wrote his last letter:

In this difficult and intense moment, when life fades away, it is still necessary to demystify disease and death. I am living proof that it is possible to be happy with cancer. I went.

I’m rewriting a few things here, to continue to show that, on the one hand, there was reason to grieve and apprehend, to get sick, to cure, to worry that everything would soon pass and that I would have a chance of a long life.. On the other hand, I always had the option of joy, which was an antidote Strong against any temptation to pessimism. which was my choice. And it will remain so. But we have our time in this world.

Strange as it may sound, but on this roller coaster, which I have been on for almost four years, I really felt comfortable. Because I got rid of the little things and obligations. Conveniently, I’ve reduced my duties to just one: life.

The rest was a result. and emergency. I’ve lived. I was happy. I have lived with the people in my life, as fully and lightly as I can. With dignity and love.

All thanks to you. my beloved family who have become when needed a medical team that always takes care of me; who kept rocking my parties and events (which ranged from 15 to 130 people); who embraced my friends as usual and theirs; Finally, who were tireless in seeing me happy, in filling me with faith, courage, and love.

To all my friends, who accepted that I would not change anything in substance, in my choices, in my way of looking at life and the world, and we continued to live and live together as you always have. I gave a little work, but they also gave me. The result is zero.

And finally to the medical team who took care of me efficiently and humanely. […] Death is the greatest cliché in life. Simply because it is the most ruthless and democratic human attitude. Everyone goes. However, we do not know how to deal with it, because it takes away from us, without warning, the people we love and can tear us apart in the same way.

But do you know what happiness is???

She goes through the most evil moments of life and receives the best from people. Find your best self.

Live, my love“, He said.

Mariana, who accompanied her sister throughout her treatment and did not leave her side in her final days, said she was at home, in palliative care – an approach of care aimed at improving the quality of life for seriously ill people. “She was at peace,” Mariana said, crying.

Juliana passed away on March 4 and left a farewell note which is sheer inspiration and a life lesson:

It’s my time. And it’s okay, guys. I had the opportunity and privilege to prepare for it. Rediscover myself and get the best out of people. This is a very sincere and grateful farewell. Farewell to a beautiful life full of meaning, love and the most special people I could have lived with. My family, friends, and many people, despite a lack of familiarity, made themselves very present, with gestures, words, prayers, and force.

During the treatment, I went through many phases here inside me. Fortunately, I found my psychological tools to deal with cancer and the people in my life. And you carried on with your strength, your affection, your partnership, and your love, each in their own way. And I began to try to understand the feelings and emotions of the people around me, daring to understand and experience what the other was feeling objectively and rationally, but also emotionally. It worked for me, and I hope you do too. Sure enough, you died filled with gratitude in my heart and surrounded by the best of people.

Juliana was a chef and businesswoman in the field of gastronomy and events – Photo: personal archive

By the way, if I may leave a request to demystify cancer or another serious illness. Demystifying death, after all, it’s the biggest cliché of our lives. My goal, since my diagnosis, has been to demystify the disease, the process, and the end of life. I think it worked, you understand, and I’ve lived the past few years with dignity and joy despite my cancer. And as I have always reiterated – with all due respect to pain and the way each individual must approach their tasks – it is possible, yes, to be happy with cancer. I went.

A little message to those who have accompanied me along the way: I know, humbly, that you will miss my presence, my banter, our cohabitation, I indeed… But, I hope that our little memories, our moments of joy and laughter, will remain, our exchange. We build our memory. I hope I left an article for this. To have a little of me in each of you (only the good part!), but with joy, without the drama. You know, drama has never been my strong point.

I once read that “mourning is the price of love.” I cannot help but thank you for the amount of love you have given me. And I wish that you, my beloved and my beloved, would live this grief in the lightest and most joyful way possible, as life was snatched away.

Do you know what is the greatest honor you can pay me? It’s honoring their own lives, with honesty in relationships, joy, integrity, empathy, love and, of course, lots of fun! By the way, after saying goodbye to me, get together and go have a beer, listen to some samba and talk well about me. My mom is dark.

I let them grieve that I left, that’s part of it. But most of all, I celebrate my life. I’m at peace. stay tooJuliana concludes.

I took care of living today – photo: personal archive

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